I guess this is goodbye. Goodbye to the chuckles sincerely expressed. Goodbye to midnight phone calls. Goodbye to often visits. Goodbye to all those times when you noticed and appreciated me the way I did in return. Goodbye to everything in between. Goodbye to those beginnings that are meant to go nowhere. Goodbye to that slightest hope. Goodbye to my illusions of knowing you more because, for all I know, I was nothing all along.

I’d say we toast for the good times and the bad. It has to be a package. Without one, the other doesn’t make complete sense. Let’s celebrate both, I guess, you and I. Let’s celebrate together.

I don’t know, but can we blame those people for taking away from us the ones we love, especially those whom we can’t control because, just like us, they have lives to live, too?

I had a great time. I laughed and I meant every chuckle. It wasn’t as if I was trying to sound interested when, the truth is, I am not. In fact, I am too interested and eager that I already fell.

People say that everyone can be liked, that everyone will be wanted at the right moment. I don’t believe it.

It is raining outside. The nearby trees endure the heavy drops of water as the sky cries at the verge of its melancholy this afternoon. Raindrops hit roofs as if showering every house with nostalgia. The sound of the heavy rain, together with the mighty thunder here and there, accompany us as we reminisce those days when we used to have the one we love in our embrace. It’s raining outside, and it makes us miss that one person even more.

The thing is, some people think that they have to sacrifice someone for them to be happy. It is hard, yes. But to be the sacrifice, now that’s even harder.

No, the person is not heartless. It is just that her heart already belongs to somebody else.

My only wish today, well, aside from finishing work and getting home to Cavite safe and sound, is for you to notice me. I wish that, when you are sad, you would find happiness in me. One day, I hope you would come to me not to express your sadness but to say that you are happy, that you are happy with me. For today, that’s my wish.

If I had one wish, I could wish for me to be good looking. Or maybe I could wish for me to have the type of eyes that you want. Or maybe I could wish for height. Or maybe I could wish for a lighter skin tone. Or maybe I could wish for  richness, just so you would notice me. Or maybe I could wish for a brain of a superhuman, or maybe the strength and and the body of one. I don’t know. Maybe I could wish that I’d be someone who looks good, someone you would like, just so you would finally notice me. 

Have you ever been in a situation where you suddenly let go because you got tired of working things out just to go back to what they used to be? Truth is, there is no one to be blamed when you surrender. You see, the person you are waiting for to go back prefers not to because s/he is happy now. If you are in the position, you wouldn’t give up your happiness, right? Waiting and waiting, on the other hand, you will get tired, and that’s human nature. So, you let go and not mind everything the person does to and for you one day. Maybe, just maybe, it’s because certain things are meant to end and change at certain periods of time, and happenstances in the world will always be inevitable. All you have to do is to accept all of it.

Sometimes, I hate myself for being too affected with people from my past. As much as I want to get over with the emotions that should have been and have already been gotten over with, I always end up refreshing and reminding myself of exactly the same feeling when I come across those people. I can’t say that I am bitter. I think I just still hope that things went out well. Or maybe, just maybe, I miss those people and how they once were part of my happiness. Maybe that.

1. Thank you for today.
2. It was nice to see you again.
3. I wish you noticed me.

Congrats pala. Ni-search ko ang pangalan mo at ayun nga, pumasa ka sa board exam. Naalala ko tuloy kung paanong kinukulit kita habang nagre-review ka dati. Ang totoo, nakaka-miss kasi ‘yung mga panahon na close pa tayo. Alam ko naman magbabago ang mga bagay-bagay, pero nakakainis lang dahil masyadong mabilis. Mabuti rin siguro iyon, para kahit papaano, hindi gaanong masakit. Kumbaga, hindi ako nakapag-invest ng maraming atensyon at emosyon. Pero sa kabilang banda kasi, naisip ko, sana naging mabuti tayong magkaibigan. Magkalapit, ganoon lang. Sabi ko naman, ayos lang sa akin iyon e. Nakaka-miss ang mga simpleng kulitan at akbayan, ‘yung maliliit na alaala na alam kong hindi na maibabalik pa. Nakaka-miss lahat ‘yun. Nakaka-miss ka.

I wish that, one day, you would chase after me. I wouldn’t run fast. Well, I would pretend that I am actually running at top speed, but I will be slow. I will let you catch me. Anyway, I really don’t have to run. It is just, sometimes, I would just like to feel what it is like to be sought after, to be chased, to be wanted, to be loved.